Welcome to Ideothetic Flow! A passion project sharing my reflections on being a better person and building a kinder world.
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Hi!
A big thank you to everyone who reached out after my last post about feeling down. I was very heartened to get your words of encouragement and support. For those whom the challenges I described resonated with you, I hope you too find your way to overcome those challenges. While I work through my own issues, I am always available if there is any help or support I can provide, or simply to offer a listening ear.
Writing that last post helped to extract those thoughts from the swirls in my mind, and put them in an external place. It helped me look at them objectively and critically, and to understand myself better. Putting it out there also reduced my ruminations, giving me some space to think about how to move towards feeling better.
Following my intuition
One thing I am working on is to trust my intuition more, and do whatever catches my interest, grants me energy, or simply feel like doing.
I went downstairs to do some sprints a few days ago. I had planned to do 10 sets. On the 8th set I felt too tired. I didn’t feel like pushing through. I decided to stop. More importantly, I decided it was ok to stop. That I don’t need to feel guilty about it.
I tend to fill my mind with too many “shoulds”. Things I should be learning, projects I should be working on, content I should be keeping up with. I should be sticking to some arbitrary plan of self-improvement. And, I should be doing all this with perfect focus and efficiency.
What often happens is that I either fail to carry out the plan and feel guilty, or I feel unhappy when trying to power through and be focused or efficient.
I’m going to try and do things differently. I’m going to trust that my mind subconsciously knows what I need, and I’ll listen to it to decide what I should do in the moment. I’m going to ignore that expectation to “power through” anything once it stops making me feel good. I’ll rest or play if I feel like it. I’ll put aside whatever I am working on or reading if it stops exciting me.
There will be some times when I must force myself to get things done. Work responsibilities, commitments to others, errands and chores for daily life. I’ll keep these to a minimum for now. Perhaps eventually, when I’m in a better state of mind, and more mature, I will revisit this and think about when it makes sense to be applying some grit and work through difficulties.
I think its important to remind myself to not to compare with others, not to feel like I need to be doing more to keep up. To resist a feeling that I constantly need to be learning, growing, or building.
I am enough. I am where I need to be. I don’t need to be doing anything more, unless I absolutely want to.
“The problem with forcing yourself to do things (as it’s taken me, too, decades to learn) is that self-forcing just strengthens the underlying belief that work is the kind of thing you have to force yourself to do – and that you’re the kind of person who won't get it done unless you force yourself. And so you end up oscillating between making reluctant, unhappy progress, or procrastinating in an act of rebellion against the bastard (ie., you) who has the gall to treat you like an indentured servant.”
James
Other interesting things…
Jeff Bezos is not my astronaut - Scott Galloway
Something about the recent space flights by Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson left me slightly uncomfortable. I think this piece captures the problem very effectively.
Is it burnout or boreout? - Anne Laure Le Cunff
A simple video explaining the flip side of burnout, boreout. It helped me realise that there is a sweet spot of stimulation and challenge we all need to find to feel fulfilled. This video had some part in inspiring my post above.
I worked on…
Adjourment motion calling for legislation of TAFEP guidelines. I didn’t contribute very much to this, but I’m really happy to hear the government’s response that it is launching a committee to look into legislating rules against workplace discrimination.
Comments on the Copyright Bill and Child Development Co-Savings Bill.
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts, start a conversation, or simply connect over a chat. You can reply this email, leave a comment, or reach me at jameschanwz@hey.com.
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Take care and have a good week!
James