Strong self-identity takes too long to build.
Revisiting older posts. Complex identity through hobbies? Or no identity?
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In my first ever newsletter, I shared an article about the importance of hobbies in a world where work tends to seen as the biggest part of our self identity. Hobbies add complexity to our self-identity, making us more resilient.
Without a complex self identity, our self worth can be easily hurt if the things we rely on for our identity are threatened. For example, a pianist with only one identity would feel great distress if an accident were to hurt the pianist's hands. To protect our sense of self, our insecurity can cause us to overcompensate or lash out. When all our energy is spent guarding that identity, we have no spare capacity for kindness to others.
I revisited this concept of identity a few months back, and reflected on the dangers of relying on any identity at all. That is because any kind of identity needs to be constantly proven to others. It makes us vulnerable, and easy to exploit. It closes our mind to options, and makes us dig into our identity during conflict.
Does this change if that identity is complex? Layering ourselves with different hobbies, passions, or communities might seem to make us more resilient. But, each of those identities are individually fragile.
A complex self-identity is still subject to our core limitation - Time. We can’t devote enough time to each layer of a complex identity to make each layer strong enough to be useful. Working on any one aspect of our identity is giving up that time from on the other aspects. A complex identity remains brittle. Even if we find various tactics to mitigate this - overlapping different parts of our identity or being more productive, we will eventually reach a limit.
Instead, true resilience comes from breaking free of the need to have identity. Accepting that our very existence as unique individuals is enough. Even if we do nothing or are nobody, its fine, we still deserve to exist. When it ceases to matter who we are or what we do, then it makes us free to do more. But, I wonder how realistic such an idea can be, as it goes against our basic nature as social creatures who place value in how others perceive us.
Other things…
ESG & Impact Metrics for Startups
Something I worked on with a group of other professionals passionate about sustainability.
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Take care and have a good week!
James