Welcome to Ideothetic Flow! A passion project sharing my reflections on life, being a better person and building a kinder world.
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Hi!
It is hard to avoid thinking about the war in Ukraine. In between the complex geopolitics and the vivid detail in which we see the war unfold on social media, I wonder if our peaceful existence in Singapore might be more fragile than expected. If crisis did reach us, would I be prepared? What would I do?
It also made me think about how much this geopolitical battle is a problem of perspective. The world is rarely able to zoom out and see everyone as part of the same human race - a single community with common risks. Instead, what we get is a narrow viewpoint focused on existing state boundaries and self interests. This amplifies differences and tempts conflict. We are often reluctant to come together to see the big picture and find better solutions.
This can be the same for individual. A few months ago, while buying coffee, I had thought there was no queue and walked up to the counter, cutting the only other person in the queue. He immediately took a very confrontational tone in pointing out my error. I was quite shocked at this response from what was (in my view) an honest mistake. Both of us had been seeing the world too narrowly. I was focused on myself and did not put enough effort to notice him. He was overly focused on his own boundaries and thus, I was simply an obstacle toward his day rather than another person. I was thus deserving of an escalated response rather than approaching me with understanding.
I find it useful to change perspective and see things from a wider angle to gain better insights, and keep away negative reactions. When we look at things from a distance, differences blur and consequences become less severe, compared to when we were squinting up close, focusing on ourselves or on the immediate event.
For example, viewing time on a broader spectrum reminds us that a single bad moment doesn't ruin our day or our life. When we see each decision in the context of the many decisions we have to take, a single mistake is often quite inconsequential. On the other hand, when we look at things narrowly, small problems seem larger, and we are tempted to react, lash out, or overcompensate. It is like selling off shares at the first sign of trouble rather than holding for a long game.
One way I like to zoom out and think about life is cosmic insignificance theory, which I read in the book 4000 weeks. When we consider how small each of us are compared to the scale of the universe, the difference between the greatest CEO and the most ordinary person is insignificant. But, it also means that each of us are equally significant.
This helps remind me to avoid fixating on comparisons with others, or from worrying that I am not making a sufficient “dent in the universe” compared to others. These are thoughts that the world wants us to worry about so we are insecure and will overcompensate. When I recognise I am already significant (or insignificant), I can focus on doing what matters to me, and not feel like it must also have some kind of achievement or impact.
I admit though, that it is very difficult to change the perspective which we experience the world. It requires a some detachment , an almost out of body experience. This is almost impossible in the heat of a negative emotion. What has helped me is to react to the emotions internally by making notes of them to reflect on later, so that when I am in a state of calm, I can actively ask how I could see things differently so the negative emotion doesn't take over.
Other things…
Louis Ng’s budget speech on social workers
If you’re going to catch one thing from the budget debates this year, please make it this. I didn’t work directly on this speech, but the team which did put in lots of effort to make a well researched and engaged piece, to speak up for a select group that might have been forgotten otherwise.
Write Two Letters
A piece reflecting on Eisenhower writing a second letter to be published should the Normandy landing at d-day fail, with nice insights on confidence and ownership of failures.
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Take care and have a good week!
James