Welcome to Ideothetic Flow! A passion project sharing my reflections on life, being a better person and building a kinder world.
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Hi!
A happy new year in advance!
Thank you for following my thoughts over the year. To have someone read my writing and think about it is one of the most amazing things I am constantly grateful for.
My 2021 review
2021 has been a tough year for me. This is the weakest my mental state has been. Since writing about feeling down earlier this year, I’ve been working on getting better but still feel out of it. It's been hard to maintain my cool during difficult times, to bounce back from feeling sad, or to hang on to happy thoughts.
The bad stuff
Parenting a toddler and trying to support my wife in her pregnancy has been challenging. I constantly feel I could be doing a much better job at it. I also feel like new problems arise so fast that I don’t have enough time to recover before the next one.
Work satisfaction has been low. I don't feel I am doing work I enjoy or growing. Yet I feel conflicted because I have decent work-life balance. Also, I feel I’ve reached a point where the path ahead feels uncertain. I am no longer in that safe zone from school where its obvious what to do, and this scares me alot. What do I want? Can I find it? If I do, will I mess it up?
In between restrictions, and failing to control my diet, my physical fitness has weakened alot this year and I gained a bunch of weight. Feeling less healthy, and being demoralised about it exacerbates my dull mood.
I did less gaming this year. I started to find that I don’t have the space in life to properly enjoy it, and have been tapering off. The process of accepting this was painful, it feels abit like tearing out something I used to define myself by.
The good stuff
The year has felt hard, but I wasn’t bad. I still have so much to be grateful for. A loving family and good friends. We had our health scares over the year, and can only be thankful that we recovered and are in generally good health. We have the resources for a comfortable life and the support to pursue our interest.
The problems with a toddler are only exceeded by the joys they bring. I definitely had lots of fun with Joy this year, and feel glad that I spent a good amount of time with her this year.
We’ve also multiplied our blessings by conceiving a second child. I’m pretty scared about how overwhelming it might be, but I also look forward to welcoming Levi to our home next year.
I didn’t train as much as I liked this year due to the covid restrictions, but I did manage to keep my martial arts journey going. I started some lessons in BJJ, and my Wing Chun has made good improvement.
I've had an interesting experience getting involved with parliamentary work. I worked on an adjournment motion on child car seats, several speeches on new bills, and getting a food donation law passed. Its a nice counterpoint to my lack of work satisfaction, as I feel like I am using my skillset to participate in society.
The year was difficult, but it was also an opportunity to improve my thinking about life. In my efforts to feel better, I found myself refining my philosophies, getting better at prioritising, cutting out less important things, and feeling comfortable about all the things I am not doing.
Whats next.
I’m bracing for lots of change next year, having for the first time a school-going child, and more than one child. As far as possible, I want to maintain the momentum on the things that are going well.
For the fitness and career aspects of my life which I have not been satisfied with, I think its no longer a matter of trying to do more. I need to disrupt myself, and do things differently.
How about you?
I’d love to hear what you thought about your 2021 and your plans for 2022. What most occupied your thoughts this year? What was good or bad? What do you hope to be doing next year?
Wishing you a happy 2022!
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts, start a conversation, or simply connect over a chat. You can reply this email, leave a comment, or reach me at jameschanwz@hey.com.
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Take care and have a good week!
James