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Hi!
As I grappled with some issues at work recently, I had a feeling that my life is stagnant, and wondered if I was not doing enough to move it forward. I thought about my career. It feels like I have done very little compared to those around me. I thought about my impact to the world. I don’t contribute much to the community, and feel I lack useful skills to contribute.
A knee-jerk reaction is to plan to wake up the next day and become a different, far more productive person. It feels good in the moment, to envision all the things I would do. Maybe I would start a new project, buy some online courses, or exercise more.
This never works. At most I feel better in the moment envisioning the movie-style training montage, and thinking of how I might emerge. Eventually, when I realise that I did not become a new person overnight, I find myself feeling frustrated and helpless.
I tend to forget that life is not like a comic book character’s origin story, with change happening quickly from a catalytic event. Change happens little at a time, over long periods. It happens slowly and quietly, without being noticed. I should not be disheartened if things feel the same between yesterday and today. In truth, if I look at life from another perspective, I am definitely different from who I was a year ago, and even more so from 5 or 10 years ago.
Change does not only come from big things. Big projects and achievements are not the only ways to move life forward. Even on days which appear to be unproductive, there are many little things which contribute my progress . Every word I read might lead to a insight. Each time I train eventually builds into a skill. Even frivolous things like playing a game, chatting with a friend, or savoring a cup of coffee, all add up to something in my life. No time is truly wasted.
Life feels stagnant because it changes slowly. It is tempting to be distracted by fretting over past decisions or fantasizing about the future, and missing what is happening now. But, I must have faith that I am moving forward, bit by bit, in my own way. I must also work on being present more, to recognise the progress I am making each day.
“No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.”
- Agnes De Mille
Have a good week!
James
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear any thoughts you had about this post and to discuss it further.
Do you struggle with similar issues or feel a similar sense of stagnation? How do you deal with it? I may not notice if I have changed, and if it was for better or worse, please do tell me if you notice differences or have suggestions how I can do better.
You can email me at jameschanwz@hey.com, leave a comment, or starting a conversation on whatsapp.