Society has an unhealthy obsession with resilience and grit
Hi!
When playing poker, knowing when to fold is a key skill. It is better to cut losses and move on, than over-commit on a bad hand and lose far more. Real life, however, is less supportive of folding your hands so quickly. Words like discipline, resilience, hardiness, toughness, and more recently - Grit, are heard often and overvalued above other traits. I think it is worth questioning whether these traits (which I mention interchangeably in this reflection) really should be given so much emphasis.
In Grit, Angela Duckworth describes how the secret to success is Grit: The perseverance to overcome obstacles in long-term projects. I personally have not had the chance to read this book, but have heard much about it. Books like Grit echo the message that some form of resilience is a primary driver for success. Those who have demonstrated this resilience should be looked up to. More importantly, that all of us can do well to cultivate more resilience in ourselves.
In a response to this ("Teaching Grit is bad for children, and bad for democracy"), Professor Nicholas Tampio observes several problems with Grit. I reflect on some of these further.
External circumstances are obscured, and the individual is overly credited for success, or blamed for failure.
Focusing on grit puts the spotlight on the individual for any outcome. A person is successful because he or she had the fighting spirit to make it happen. If an individual suffers failure, it is because he or she lacked the willpower to overcome obstacles or gave up. It is a personal test, which downplays the other conditions such as luck, background, or assistance from others that led to the result.
Those who succeed may get undue credit. Professor Tampio's article mentions how JP Morgan's CEO is celebrated for his grittiness in steering the bank out of the financial crises, which ignores the fact that he was supported by millions in bailout funds.
Individuals take too much blame for any failure. A grit-based analysis would find that they should have been more resilient despite any difficulty, and overcome the obstacles at all costs using sheer willpower. Seems like the perfect cover for those in positions of power who should have been creating conditions for success and empowering others.
Critical thinking and proper evaluations are discouraged
Gritty people are single-minded. Once they have their outcome in mind, they will achieve it at all costs, never giving up. This conviction avoids the question whether the goal, or the means to achieve it, is truly good. Professor Tampio mentions how the CEO of Cinnabon does not think about whether she has a part in causing obesity, grit cultures in american football cause long-term injury to players, and the Beast rituals at West Point is hazing in disguise. In a society obsessed with toughness, asking if a goal would truly make you happy, or worrying about harming others in pursuit of that goal, is too weak. Successful people are those of conviction and action. We ought to think hard about exactly what this "success" means.
Moreover, when resilience is treated as the best solution to a problem, it promotes inefficiency. Using sheer willpower and effort to overcome the problem would raise a person's standing as he can then be celebrated as being tenacious. Asking if a problem is worth the effort in solving, or trying to find more efficient solutions would be seen as being lazy.
Conflict of interest in those who encourage grit
Those who are in positions of power have a self interest in others pushing past adversity to work harder, and not questioning their management or the system. A common complaint is that the younger generation is soft. Perhaps this is true, but why should we believe it when those who say this are often the ones who benefit the most from these same millenials, who are their subordinates, working hard without complaint?
On a different train of thought, Professor Tampio wonders if a misguided attempt to inculcate grit in youths will leave them mindlessly obedient to orders, losing the critical thinking necessary for democracy.
There is no way to quantity or measure resilience. We never know whether we have an acceptable amount of resilience. It is then easy to make people feel that they never have enough. Before giving up, or when taking a critical view, there is a preliminary obstacle to consider whether such thoughts are truly justified, or they originate from a lack of resilience. When grit is overemphasized in society, then people are likely to overcompensate and take the "gritty" approach even when it is not the best course of action.
Try not to doubt your own resilience
I hope this reflection helps others take a more realistic view when they find themselves doubting their self-worth because of a lack of resilience. Avoid comparing resilience with others, it is an impossible task. Whether you succeed or fail, remember that many other factors are usually at play. Lastly, question the motives of those who try to make you feel like you should do more.
Most likely, you are already as "gritty" as can be, but have not found the right goal that resonates so deeply in you for your strength to surface. When that happens, then the challenge switches to being able to constantly assess your goals with a broad view.
As with most things, finding balance is key. I do not know how to define this balance, and am still searching for it. If you have any ideas on how we can properly assess our self-discipline, please do share them with me. Would also want to hear if you struggle with problems such as guilt over possibly lacking resilience, any solutions you have, or ways you suggest we can build grit.
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Unfortunately, busy schedules and lower stamina have made it hard for me to organise poker games in recent years. More players are of course the merrier, so if you are interested in a game do let me know! Will remember to call you when I finally organise something.
Have a great week ahead!
James
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