Tips to get better sleep and survive sleep deprivation
Ideothetic Flow
Hi!
Having less sleep is probably the most commonly mentioned challenge of new parents. While we were expecting Joy, I was horrified to learn from a colleague with 3 kids that he had not slept a full night for the past 10 years since his first child was born. Thankfully, Joy has pretty reasonable sleep habits, and we have managed to get much more sleep than expected.
Even then, having broken sleep for almost 2 months has taken its toll on our sleep. I feel functional, but never properly refreshed. It is a different experience from the days when I would have little sleep from gaming or working late. Then, late nights usually came in bursts of a few days at a go, and I could plan a chance to recover eventually. I also had more control over when I woke up. Now, I never know if I have to be awake within 45 mins of falling asleep, or after 4 hours.
At the same time, there are many studies and articles of the need for us to get enough sleep. We need 7 hours of sleep to feel refreshed and be more productive, but more importantly, for our health and lifespan - people who do not get enough sleep have decreased lifespans, increased weight gain, and vulnerability to illnesses. It also affects our brain’s ability to consolidate information and replace brain cells. It feels quite scary that, as part of being a parent, there is little I can do to avoid causing my body and mind to wear out.
Even for non-parents, few of us have the chance to get a full 7 hours of sleep. Late nights have become a norm in our work culture. Even if we manage to maintain reasonable hours, a full 7 hours of sleep leaves little free time for our own activities. Our day would be reduced to our commute, work, and sleep. I feel cheated that my employer gets the benefit of my most productive self if I get that full 7 hours of sleep in exchange for my leisure time.
Knowing that sleep is important for you yet being unable to get enough could then be subconsciously stressful. We must be realistic about the number of hours we can get without sacrificing too many other things, but try and make those hours more efficient. So, I have compiled a list of some ways to get better sleep that I use or want to implement. I hope these help you too in improving your quality of life through better sleep.
1. Put away electronics before going to bed.
Blue light from our electronics reduces melatonin production. Melatonin is a hormone which tells our brain when to sleep, leading to better quality sleep. The alertness from dealing with messages, notifications, or watching videos, also keeps our minds awake and makes it harder to enter deep sleep. The added activity may also lead to sleeping later than intended, generally wasting precious sleep hours.
Abstaining from device usage before bedtime is probably the most common tip out there. Personally, I find it really hard to put this into practice though. I am too tempted to check and reply any messages I receive, or perhaps watch a video or read something before going to bed. Some of you might even have received replies at odd hours as I check my phone after a middle of night diaper change. I should try to put more effort into this. Likely, this is also a sign of a deeper problem of checking my phone too often or relying on it to fill any silent moments.
To mitigate this, I installed a blue light filter on my phone, so that at least I reduce that effect on melatonin production and I can transition to sleeping more easily. I find this also makes videos less appealing to watch so I am less likely to binge watch league of legends matches in bed.
Ironically, some of the ways we can get better sleep, are also made possible with the power of our smartphones.
2. Reduce blue light in the bedroom
Similar to cutting out blue light from electronics, it also helps to reduce bright or blue lights in the bedroom to wind down before bedtime.
My wife had very diligently installed Hue Lights in our bedroom so that we can control the exact shade and intensity of our lights when we wake up at night (though we have to use our phones to turn on the light). This has been really helpful to get some light to deal with Joy without shocking our retinas.
Switching to smart lighting might be too much work for most though, and I would suggest getting a simple bedside lamp with orange or red light, and aim it towards a wall to use as a night light. Red lighting promotes melatonin production, and one trick I read is to read a book using red lamplight just before going to bed.
3. Stretch before going to bed
Stretching before bed is also beneficial to getting better sleep. It improves blood circulation and helps with relaxation. For those who do not stretch regularly, it could also help with common flexibility issues and back pains.
I have been doing a simple stretching routine before bed most nights, and do find that I have much more energy the next morning compared to if I did not bother.
I do the following exercises which you can try too:
Child’s Pose
Seated spinal twist
Keeping legs up against the wall
Bring knees to chest while lying in bed
4. Manage your caffeine intake
I feel like a day is not complete if I do not have at least one cup of coffee. I do not rely on it to stay awake, but rather simply enjoy its flavor during the day. However, in the same way it keeps us awake, caffeine reduces the quality of our sleep. As caffeine takes some time to metabolise completely, it should only be taken more than 6 hours before going to bed. Besides avoiding coffee in the evenings, do remember that other foods (eg chocolate, green tea) might contain caffeine as well.
For optimal coffee usage, it should not be taken right in the morning where we should already have some energy from sleep the night before. Try and wait to drink coffee around 10am-2pm instead to maximise its effect.
If you have the luxury of napping, you can also do a supercharged powernap by drinking coffee and going to nap immediately for about 45 mins. This is around the time the coffee needs to kick into your system, and when both the nap and coffee effects converge, you will feel most refreshed.
5. Eat foods which are rich in melatonin
Besides melatonin pills (I have never tried these before) we can also get melatonin naturally from certain foods which are quite easily accessible, for example:
Sour cherries
Walnuts
Ginger (Ginger tea is a pretty easy way to take this before bedtime)
The good news is that cherries and walnuts both sound like pretty good snacks to have when feeling peckish, and I really love cherries. So I will definitely try to incorporate these into my own diet to see how they work.
6. Play white noise or environmental music
Contrary to popular belief, it is harder to sleep in a quiet room. Having some sound or light music makes it easier to fall asleep and improves sleep. I feel uneasy without the background noise of the air conditioner or a fan and will not be able to sleep without it. Having a vast library of on-demand music on our phones these days has made it even easier to access our choice of white noise, nature sounds, or soothing instrumental music as we go to bed. Especially when travelling for work, playing some of these sounds has helped to have much better sleep when sleeping alone in an unfamiliar hotel room.
7. Do not stress about falling asleep
Despite how much we know of the importance of sleep, it is not always possible or easy to get the right amount of sleep. The worst thing we can do is to stress over it. We should prioritise relaxation rather than sleep itself.
There will always be days where we know we need to get some sleep, but cannot seem to do so. The fear of being unable to fall asleep is usually the strongest barrier from falling asleep. The anxiety of the clock ticking down precious sleep hours, and the knowledge that the next day would go badly if you did not sleep enough compounds this. Rather than trying to fall asleep by force of will, two things tend to work. One, reset by taking a quick walk or going to the bathroom, which might get your mind ready to sleep again. Two, get yourself in position to sleep, but continue to do something light until you do fall asleep such as reading a book.
Thankfully for me, having interrupted sleep may not be bad enough to be stressed over. Apparently, before the invention of artificial light, humans used to sleep in two separate blocks, waking up once in the middle of the night.
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There are of course many more ways to improve our quality of sleep, but these are the few I found which I feel are easiest to implement with little obstacles. Other “sleep-hacks” might require too much change to our lives (e.g. cutting out alcohol), or are not realistic (sleep when the baby sleeps - if only I had nothing else I needed to do).
Interestingly, there is also research on how even sleep is affected by gender differences and societal norms. Different gender roles cause men and women to lose sleep over different things. The good news is that the research finds that in a more gender-equal society, everyone gets better quality sleep - even more reason to work towards gender equality.
What other ways do you have to improve your sleep quality? I would be happy to hear and try out anything that you have found useful.
Have a great week ahead!
James
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Ideothetic Flow is a fortnightly newsletter where I reflect on insights that I have found useful in rethinking life in a more realistic way.
Modern culture, media, and technology, for all their benefits, have distorted the view of a complete and happy life. The ideas I share are those which have helped me gain a deeper understanding of my own identity and circumstances, and inspire change towards a happier life, and I hope they will do the same for anyone else who reads this.
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