My vision for a better world - reflecting on why I write this newsletter
Hi!
Rather than some new idea to share, this week I wanted to reflect on why I write this newsletter, and what value I hope it can bring to the world.
I started Ideothetic Flow to try and have a side project and build my own little spot in the digital world. I figured I would start the newsletter first and explore its purpose as I went about. In between the events of 2020, myself getting older (and hopefully more enlightened), I do feel like I want to do my part, in my own small way, to be a better person and try to make the world a better place.
A hypothesis of a better world.
I believe that humanity will progress even faster in a world where we are all kinder to one another. Here I mean a very extreme form of kindness, where by today's standards we would be going far out of our way to think for others.
A large part of our energy is spent being guarded against others. Our efforts are focused on accumulating enough money for our family, keeping ourselves safe, building up our external image. Freeing up that energy will make it easier to pursue passions, get educated about key issues, cooperate openly, and focus on important things. We can shift from avoiding mistakes, to trying to build value for ourselves and others.
I believe this has a better chance of growing the pot of common resources, rather than distributing scarce resources unequally.
Why is it hard to be kind?
I hope the truth is not that humans are evil by nature. I think people want to be kind, and know how to be. However, we are self-interested creatures. If our own needs are not fulfilled, we cannot do well in helping others. I want to be a good husband or friend, but sometimes snap at my loved ones when I feel frustrated. I forget to give way because I am rushing. I want to donate more to charity but worry I will not have enough left for myself. I give unreasonable deadlines because I am worried I will not have enough time to deliver my work. Even where these seem small and harmless, they add up with every human interaction and place stress on others. There is a vicious cycle here, where the recipient then places stress on others.
One source of such unfulfilled needs is a disconnect between our thoughts and reality. These often arise either internally from cognitive dissonance where our mind fails to properly analyse the world around us, and externally, when society tells us this is how we should think and feel. Let me attempt to describe some examples of how this can manifest:
Wanting something we do not actually need. This can comprise obvious aims like wanting more money, more power, or more friends to be happy. It can also be a desire to preserve pride. Are these really necessary though? I recently grappled with my own need to feel productive while I was at home during this period, and realised it was actually unnecessary. Trying to squeeze out productivity only interfered with my ability to be present for my family. In the struggle to achieve all these, we step over others, neglect what is truly important in life, and on achieving them, find it to be empty.
Irrational fears. We worry about the opinions of others. We fear embarrassing ourselves. We are insecure about job performance. We worry that we have not optimised our lives. On deeper analysis we may realise that there was not much to fear in the first place. However, when these fears act on our minds, we overcompensate and end up hurting others as a result.
Unrealistic expectations. One cannot learn a skill without putting in some effort, yet sometimes we expect to learn quickly, giving up halfway. Achieving career success and a good family is not always possible, sacrifices must be made. Expectations can be projected outwards too, expecting others to read our mind, to be doing more for us. When these expectations cannot be achieved, our frustrations interfere with our ability to be kinder to others.
Ineffective approach. What is accepted as the 'normal' way to do things is not always the best. It might be the most convenient, or suits the needs of someone else. There might be better ways we can work, learn, or play. Just 6 months ago, many would have said remote work would never happen. Only when forced to experiment do we realise it might even be better in some ways. Inefficient approaches make it harder to achieve our aims, and require compensating with brute force. This takes away valuable bandwidth we could use to be better to others.
Since these disconnections come from our thoughts, they are often present even if a person is living a seemingly comfortable life. This prevents them from being their best selves.
The solution is internal, the disconnect must be understood and acknowledged, and thus overcome. Removing them gives space to help those with true unmet needs, basic needs like food, health, and safety.
How can I help?
I am not an expert nor have any scientific proof for all this. I also recognise that the hypothesis I set out above is rather idealistic, and probably only works if the entire human race could function at this level. As such, I cannot claim to have anything prescriptive to offer. I do know I want to try and contribute to this kinder world, and this takes education and effort.
Education. This newsletter is my journey in testing this hypothesis, and recording my reflections on myself, the world around me, and how I can do better.
Effort. This is also my public commitment to being a better person, to put my written thoughts in public so I can be held accountable to them.
I hope that by putting this out, I can give some inspiration to others in their own journey to do good, whether or not along the same lines as what I imagine.
How can we connect?
What I enjoy most about writing this is a feeling of connection to those who read it. Being an introvert, this is a more comfortable platform for me than networking or social media channels.
As such, I definitely hope to hear from all of you. Please do share what you think about what I have written, whether you agree or disagree, suggestions on what I can do better, anything that comes to mind as you read, or other content that you think might interest me. You can reply any email directly, drop me a private message on any platform, or talk to me about it whenever we have the fortune to meet.
If you have friends who might find these interesting, please feel free to share this with them too. I would surely enjoy getting to know someone new and exchanging thoughts on these topics.
Stay safe!
James
About Ideothetic Flow
Ideothetic Flow is a small passion project where I share my reflections on challenging common norms and trying to be a better person.
I write a new post every 2 weeks.
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