Nobody cares - A simple mantra to push aside worries about things we cannot control
Hi!
Recently, I have been working on internalising this mantra that "Nobody Cares".
I read about it in a post by Ben Horowitz, recounting an interview by football coach Bill Parcells, recounting his team's injury problems to Al Davis. The response: "Nobody cares. Just coach your team". The idea is not novel. Rather than worrying about unknown outcomes or uncontrollable events, focus on doing what is possible. However, at least for me, the message is sent across better by putting it in these harsher terms. It feels like a good shock to inspire a change in thinking. Whenever I catch myself worrying, making excuses, or wanting to complain, I tell myself that "nobody cares", sweep those thoughts away, and look towards doing something productive.
At first glance, it feels like a heartless mindset, where the world has no compassion and allows no absolution for failure, even if there is a good excuse. As a lawyer, this is counter-intuitive. I am trained to find excuses. But, I think it reflects the reality of life, and better to confront that reality than pretend it does not exist.
Behind this harsh reality, is a line of thinking that actually removes stress. The idea of 'nobody' includes myself as well, I too should not stress over those things I cannot control. Also, as much as nobody cares about the excuses, likely nobody cares much about the success or failure either. Fail, and there is another chance to get back up. Succeed, and likely people only care up to their own self-interest, we have to succeed for ourselves.
I start my new job today, and plan to keep this at the back of my mind as I head into the uncertainties that come with a new phase of life. It has been useful to keep me from worrying about whether I will do well, and whether I can smoothly fit my life into the organisation. Put these aside, and focus on doing what I can when the time comes.
Have a great week ahead!
James
About Ideothetic Flow
Ideothetic Flow is a small passion project following my own thoughts about living life better. Every 2 weeks I share something I find interesting, usually related to mental models which challenge common expectations or ideas.